empowering · lifestyle · motivation

Staying Focused

This morning someone asked me “If you could pick one word to focus on in 2019 what would it be?”

I hadn’t really thought about it until now. But for some reason the word came to me so quickly.

Focused

Staying focused could mean SO many different things, thats why its important to me. It branches off to so many other goals of mine.

When your brain is focused, you’re motivated. You’ll do whatever it takes to reach your goal.

It’s very easy to lollygag around life without a worry, completely unfocused. But it takes strength and willpower to remain concentrated on your mission.

Some goals of mine for 2019 are getting and remaining healthy, becoming secure and happy with my job, saving money to move to Florida and continuing to improve my mental health.

When you break each of these goals break down, it all comes down to one thing if you want to be successful. Staying focused.

Think about it as taking a test in high school or college. You can study and prep all you want. You could be the smartest kid in the class. But if your brain is somewhere else the day of the test, you probably won’t score as expected.

Staying focused is not only essential for reaching your goals but it is an imperative to all decision making, perception and learning. Steve Jobs didn’t get to where he did by watching TV while he worked and researched. RIP💕

When I think of the word focus, I think of everything I spoke about thus far. But if I dig a little deeper, I also think about me. It’s time to not worry so much about other people – just worry about my family and myself. Stop comparing myself to other moms or other writers. Stop measuring the difference between myself and other people at work or my friends.

I need to focus on me

..And I’m sure you do, too.

Until next time,

XOXO samantha

blogger · empowering · Growing up · inspire · lifestyle · motivation · photographer

Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.

Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.” Let me say that again for the people in the cheap seats” – Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face

Please say that again. Repeat it so many times that you start to believe it. I started listening to the audible version of “Girl Wash Your Face” and I feel like I found my blogger/social media/author spirit animal/soul mate. Rachel writes about her experience with life and aspires to inspire and motivate women.

I’m about halfway through the book and each chapter is better than the last. My favorite part of the book so far is where she talks about something her therapist told her as a young girl.

Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.

Wow.

First of all. My therapist tells me this ALL the time, so kudos to the great therapists that hold us women together.

Second of all. Wow. This quote speaks to me on so many levels.

We are always so worried about what people think of us. Truth of the matter is, people are entitled to their opinions on books, politics, music, movies AND what they think about you.

As humans, its in our nature to wonder (and worry) about how we are viewed. Society is cruel. High school was cruel. The workplace can be cruel. Sometimes so cruel that it gives us so much anxiety we are unable to perform our daily functions.

I’m pretty sure every woman has been called fat or ugly at some point in their lives. (By the way, you are not fat or ugly. You are perfect just the way you are in every way.) Now, those asshole guys from high school that called you fat brought your confidence DOWN. You used to love summer and being at the beach. Now you wont be caught dead wearing shorts, let alone a bathing suit.

You may have a really difficult co-worker that just doesn’t get you. Everything you do, they have to criticize. Everytime you try to help or develop or bond with your team, they think youre kissing ass. Reality check: you’re just being a good person and doing what makes YOU happy. But because of the judgement, you decide to back down and not lead the way anymore.

I’m sure you have dealt with judgement at least once in your lifetime, if not hundreds of times. It’s not about what these people think of you. It’s how you react to it.

“So and so called me fat.”

“This one thinks Im a kiss ass.”

“Another one thinks Im a bitch.”

“Did he just call me stupid?”

“They always said Ill never get anywhere in life.”

The most successful and happiest of people do not let people’s opinions of them get in their way. Let’s take the most beautiful and amazing plus size model for example. Ashley Graham. Many people have called her fat. She did NOT let what people say get in her way. She’s been on TONS of magazine covers and even on the cover of Sports Illustrated. She didn’t let the assholes get in her way.

The female business owner was always told she would never amount to anything because she is a woman. Because she doesn’t have an education. Because all she knows how to do is be a mom. Day in and day out she was criticizing by people around her. Dealt with HR related issues for being treated unfairly and even struggled with unfair pay because she was a woman. She did not let these people’s thoughts get to her or get in her way. She did what SHE wanted to do and what she was nade to do.

My point is simple.

The act ? Not so simple. It takes TIME and EFFORT to practice not giving a shit about what people think of you. It takes patience and lots of falling down and picking yourself up again, to not listen to words that shouldn’t concern you.

Start off small. Keep a picture of the quote “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business” as your background on your phone. Remind yourself day in and day out that their opinions are invalid and mean absolutely nothing. Eventually, you won’t even be phased by most of the negative talk.

After all, the only opinions that matter, will be given to you with the purest of intentions by the most amazing, loving people in your life, that want to see you succeed.

Crazy to think that there’s people that want to see you happy, right?

XOXO Samantha.

Uncategorized

Staying Present.

How many times have you heard someone tell you to stay in the moment and be present? I know I’ve heard my mother say this to me so much throughout the past few years. It always sounds SO much easier than it really is. What does that even mean? Of course I’m present. I’m here aren’t I?

Wrong.

My body is here. But my head is there. I’m looking at you and hearing you but I’m not listening. I’m scrolling through social media, I’m thinking about the bills that need to be paid or how much I don’t want to go to work on Monday (when its’s only Friday) Why am I thinking about Monday when it’s only Friday? **insert thinking emoji here**

thinking emoji.png

Lately, I’ve been trying to be more presentIt’s hard, don’t get me wrong, but I do find myself enjoying my time a LOT more than I have in the past. I’m a better mom, daughter, girlfriend, friend and worker. I’m happier. I deleted social media apps from my phone so its not as convenient for me to get into, I disabled notifications on my phone except for important things such as texts, phone calls and updates on my daughters school and I fight my brain every single moment of every single day to push away all the “other” feelings, emotions and thoughts. Easy? No.

Simplifying my life has helped me become more present because I don’t have all these things preventing me from living my best moment. This the best way I can describe how I do it. I’m also only at the beginning stages of simplifying my life, so as I develop more thoughts and best practices, you KNOW I’ll be sharing !!

Nothing bothers me more than having an important conversation with someone and they pick up their phone and start scrolling through Instagram or answer a text. That can wait. This isn’t being selfish, its being present and enjoying the moment. It’s also showing the other person you care about what they have to say and what they are talking about is important.  How about after being intimate with a loved one and them rolling over and checking their phone RIGHT AFTER? Hello.. cuddle me please. ENJOY THE MOMENT.

I can’t stress it enough how hard it really is to do everything I just said, especially if you have an addictive personality or an anxious mind. But I promise you, the more you work at it and the more you simplify, the easier it gets to enjoy and LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!

Some things I’ve been doing to help simplify are

  • Meal prepping
  • Wearing the same clothes (washing them of course,) so I don’t have to think about what I wear
  • Deleting apps/disable notifications
  • THROW THINGS AWAY/DONATE
  • Not keeping my phone next to me at all time
  • Being more social ( to help practice being in the moment)
  • MEDITATE, MEDITATE, MEDITATE ( I just go on Youtube for guided meditation before bed) I’ll post some links below.

There’s no better feeling than talking to someone and having nothing else on your mind. That’s the goal.  We’re only human, it’s not going to be perfect… ever. But the more we work toward living our best life, the happier we will be.

 

Happy Humpday !!

humpday.png

 

XOXO SAMANTHA

 

 

**I do not own rights to these Youtube channels, just throwing them out there for your use**

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX159cvbQYBvMFvpdsbIDdA

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqPYhcdFgrlUXiGmPRAej1w

 

https://www.youtube.com/user/MichaelSealey